Soccer is an exciting sport for young players and though it is easy to learn, it can prove to be a most daunting for some kids to master. Soccer is challenging, not only because it tests the physical abilities of athletes but their mental resilience as well. While technical skills, speed, and strength are essential pieces of the soccer player puzzle, mental toughness will often prove to be the difference between success and failure on the soccer field.
Mental toughness isn’t just a kind of buzzword that we use in this case either, it is a very real aspect of sports that allows a young player to overcome setbacks during the course of play. Having this kind of fortitude of the mind also allows young athletes to stay focused during high-pressure moments and bounce back after making mistakes.
As parents, it often falls to us to help our children build up this crucial mental strength. Coaches and teammates can help, but at the end of the day, we’re the ones who will have the most influence on their mental state and we can provide much-needed discussions at the end of a long or difficult day on the pitch. The good news is that mental resilience can be developed, much like any other physical skill. Through intentional practice and support, you can help your child achieve this valuable coping mechanism.
In this article, we will teach parents how to impart these skills onto their children. We will explore the practical strategies they can use to help their child become mentally tough and resilient, manage pressure in a more productive way, and stay focused at games and during practice.
Understand What Mental Toughness Means in Soccer
What is mental toughness? Or rather, what does it look like in a young soccer player? When we talk about mental toughness, we are referring to an athlete’s ability to stay calm under pressure. To be mentally tough, that player must be able to persist through adversity, rise up after they have fallen down, and stay focused on their goals despite missteps and other distractions. A player who has this ability is better able to perform at their best, even in very challenging situations. So, whether that player is facing a tough opponent, losing a game, or dealing with a mistake they’ve made, they can push through and not dwell too long on any one misfortune.
For young players, mental toughness can manifest itself in several ways:
Handling Pressure: Players what are able to perform under pressure have mental fortitude This could mean doing well when taking penalty kicks or clinching things in the final moments of a tight game.
Resilience: Young athletes with mental fortitude are better at recovering from mistakes quickly. They do not allow frustration or disappointment to affect the rest of their game or their season as a whole.
Focus: Kid athletes show mental toughness if they are able to stay focused on the game plan and don’t get distracted by external factors such as the crowd, mistakes, or other players.
As a parent, it’s is your job to help your child understand that mental toughness means. Make it clear that, despite the name, it is not just about being “tough” in the traditional sense. Instead, it is often about developing the ability to keep a positive mindset and push forward, even when things are looking rough.
Teach Your Child the Power of a Growth Mindset
At Cultured Athlete, we are big advocates of the growth mindset. This refers to the epistemological belief that abilities and skills can be developed with effort, perseverance, and learning. The prevailing concept here is that one can affect one’s own success by actively working towards it, dismissing or learning from the mistakes along the way, and taking in new knowledge to help one achieve one’s end goals. This mindset is one of the cornerstones of mental toughness, especially in young people, where their early stage mental development makes it so this kind of positive thinking can be built up into a lifelong habit. Remember, when a child adopts a growth mindset, they are more likely to embrace challenges, learn from mistakes, and persist in the face of difficulties their whole life long.
Here’s how to foster a growth mindset in young soccer players:
Emphasize Effort Over Results: This shouldn’t be too hard for most parents, but the key to getting your child to think like a winner is to frame them as one in every thing they do. Praise your child for working hard rather than focusing solely on the wins themselves. Much as you and they might care about the outcome of a game, it should not be what drives them to do well; they should want to do that so that they continue to get better over time. If positive changes occur, wins and athletic success will follow. For example, instead of saying, “Great job, you scored the winning goal!” a positive parent might say, “Great job staying focused and giving your best effort throughout the game!”
Normalize Mistakes: Parents should always remind their children that mistakes are a natural part of sports. Everyone makes mistakes now and then, even professional and Olympic-level athletes. Parents can even use any mistakes their children make along the way as learning opportunities for them. This might sound mean but bear with us here. Discussing what went wrong and what can be done better next time is a great way to instill a growth mindset in a child and help them bounce back if they are feeling down on themselves.
Encourage Problem-Solving: After a tough game, parents should always take a few minutes to talk with their child about what they can do differently. Help your child to set goals for improving specific skills, like passing, shooting, or defending. At the same time, encourage them to view challenges as opportunities for them to grow.
By emphasizing effort and learning, rather than solely winning or avoiding mistakes, you as parents will be able to help your children develop resilience. In the end, this ability to brush themselves off and move on is vital to cultivating the mental toughness needed to bounce back after difficult situations.
Help Your Child Stay Focused During the Game
Soccer is a fast-paced game and it’s often difficult for young players to stay focus amidst the constant challenges and new information they are being bombarded with each and every game. Whether it is tracking the ball or positioning themselves on the field, maintaining focus can be a significant challenge for some children; especially if those children have autism, ADHD, or are just simply more distractible than most. That said, mental toughness can make short work of these challenges. Simply being able to stay focused on the present moment, especially when distractions arise is a tool these kids will need their for their entire lives; and not just on the soccer field.
Here are a few ways you as parents can help your child stay focused on the game:
Encourage Pre-Game Routines: Parents would do well to establish a consistent pre-game routine for their child. This can help a kid mentally prepare for a match and might include anything from stretching and listening to music, to visualizing success on the field. Believe it or not, a solid routine can help young players shift their focus away from distractions (like nerves or external stressors) back to the task at hand.
Teach Mindful Breathing: Taking a few minutes to relax and practice some mindful breathing can help calm jittery young nerves. Mindful breathing is often used to refocus the mind. It can be applied before the game or during a timeout and can help kids shift their focus away from anxiety and back to having fun or working towards success.
By helping young athletes to maintain focus and avoid distractions, parents can foster mental toughness in a helpful, natural way. Doing this can keep your kids performing at their best, no matter what’s going on around them or in their own heads.
Build Confidence Through Positive Self-Talk
Confidence is one of the main elements of youth sports success. It also happens to be one of the main reasons we want our kids to play sports in the first place. Sports provides kids a low-stakes means of achieving self confidence and the best way for them to achieve this is to believe in themselves. That belief is a cornerstone of mental toughness and can allow kids to remain more calm under pressure and recover more quickly from mistakes. One of the most effective ways to build confidence is through positive self-talk.
Here’s how parents can help their children develop positive self-talk habits:
Model Positive Self-Talk: Remember that kids hear everything and that they often imitate the behaviors evinced by their parents. This is why it’s so important that parents model positive self-talk on their own terms. This means that they always shift toward the positive, even when things go badly and don’t fly off the handle when things don’t go as planned.
Encourage Internal Dialogue: Parents should teach their kids how to speak positively to themselves during the game. Reframe their way of thinking so that instead of then thinking, “I’m terrible at this,” they can say something like, “I’m working hard, and I can improve.” By practicing positive self-talk, children are able to build their mental toughness and believe in their own abilities.
Praise Progress, Not Perfection: Make the focus on the child’s progress rather than your or their expectations of perfection. No child is perfect or even that good at sports right away, besides maybe Tiger Woods, and even then…well, we digress. The point is that parents ought to praise their child’s efforts and improvements, regardless of the outcome of the game.
Always remember how much positive self-talk helps children to build confidence. As their self-esteem grows, so too will their mental resilience and fortitude.
Teach Your Child How to Handle Pressure and Setbacks
We all know that pressure is a big part of any sport, especially as games get more competitive. Still, whether it’s the pressure to perform well or the pressure of a close game, teaching a child how to handle it is a vital part of developing mental toughness.
Here’s how parents can help their kids cope with pressure and setbacks:
Reframe Negative Thoughts: If you want your child to be more mentally resilient, you need to try and get them to reframe negative thoughts into more positive and constructive ones.
Focus on the Process, Not the Outcome: Parents ought to encourage their kids to focus on the process—like playing their best, communicating with teammates, or trying hard—rather than obsessing over winning or scoring. This helps reduce the pressure to be perfect and builds mental resilience.
Promote Emotional Regulation: Show your children how to manage their emotions during stressful moments. If they seem like they are getting frustrated or upset, guide them in calming down with deep breathing or taking even the briefest moment to reset. They might even benefit from a few gentle words of encouragement.
Cultured Athlete Says…
As you can see, it is easier and more beneficial for a child to develop mental toughness in young soccer than you might expect. Certainly, the process itself takes time, patience, and consistent effort on the part of the child, the parents, and the coaches, but the long-term benefits vastly outweigh the time you put in. As parents, we play a crucial role in helping our children build the mental strength they need to perform at their best, handle all forms of pressure, and bounce back from any and all setbacks. Through proven strategies like fostering a growth mindset, encouraging positive self-talk, and teaching emotional regulation, we can assist our young soccer stars in ways that will lead to success both on and off the field.
Remember parents, mental toughness is not going to happen overnight. This is a skill, like any other, and children will pick up on it at their own case. As with any mental or physical skill, it can be cultivated through everyday practice, encouragement, and support, but it requires effort and patience on everybody’s part.
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